How Pianos Are Stolen

Let's say you're the principal of a junior high school, and in your auditorium is a Steinway grand that was probably bought during the Truman Administration.  Let's say it hasn't been maintained in a long time, and no one much uses it.  Several generations of kids have carved their names in it, ivories are missing, some notes don't work.

One of your faculty is very excited about putting on a musical production, so, of course, the piano needs tuning, to say the least.  You look in the Yellow Pages, and a piano dealer has a big, impressive ad, so you call.  They send over a tuner who, it turns out, is a sales rep as well.

The tuner tries his best, snaps a couple of strings, and then announces that the piano really needs a lot of work, which you don't doubt.  You're afraid to ask, but you go ahead; "How much work?"  "Well, quite a bit," he says, "in fact, it needs a complete rebuilding."  "How much will that cost?" you ask nervously.  Maybe he tells you right there, or maybe he writes up an appraisal and estimate, but either way the number is uncomfortably close to $12,000.  Of course it is out of the question.  What will you do?

"Well it just so happens," says the tuner, reading your mind, "we've just finished rebuilding a lovely little grand piano, it's quite nice, and everything works and it's in tune already.  Tell you what, we'll make an even trade, the freshly rebuilt grand for this old, run-down grand you have here."

If you say yes, it's a deal, you've just had your piano stolen.

Here's how it works.  First, if your piano is a highly valued piano, like a Steinway or a Mason & Hamlin, or even a second-tier piano, like a Baldwin or something unheard of, like a Gabler or a Henry F Miller, then it is pretty valuable, even beat up and needing a ton of work.  In other words, it is worth it to have the work done, because the piano will be that much more valuable.  A beat-up Steinway can be worth $10,000 because after having another $10,000 of rebuilding work done, it'll be worth more than $20,000.  You certainly wouldn't know this by looking at or playing that beat-up piano.

Second, if, as is likely, you couldn't afford $10,000 of rebuilding, chances are you could easily afford a couple of hundred dollars of repair, and that would probably put the piano in perfectly good shape for your musical.  But the tuner didn't give you that option, so how would you know?

Third, what do you know about that recently-rebuilt grand? It probably wasn't really rebuilt, just reconditioned, with a few felts replaced, the hammers reshaped, and the pitch raised.  Big deal, it's probably a no-name piano worth $3,000 tops.

Get that second opinion before making a decision!